94 minutes. 1 life. Many chances.

That's what 127 Hours was for me. What it factually is, is Aron Ralston's story portrayed with excruciatingly painful detail by James Franco, orchestrated by Danny Boyle and team. While my post isn't to talk about the technical aspects of the movie or the viewing experience, I have to say this movie has some unparalleled cinematography - further upping the ante on the otherwise superior stuff Danny Boyle's films are made of. (seen Millions anyone?)

What 127 Hours also is, is an awakening of sorts. A medium of self-realization. A barrage of questions that stare you in the face, uncomfortably.

How much can you really endure?
What would you pick - the easier way out or the more difficult, painful and uncertain one?
What do you do with the cards life's dealt to you - sit and brood or make the best of them?

What's interesting and inspiring is that Aron Ralston was always the kind of guy who'd pick the tougher way out. The road less travelled. (check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyPBTblkzBI)

He wasn't afraid to try the new (an otherwise shy and introverted person, Aron discovered his love for the outdoors in his 20s and took to it like a fish to water).
He quit a well-paying job to follow his newly discovered joy of the outdoors (Aron quit his job at Intel to give climbing and skiing more time).
He knew what he wanted and went after it (the Fourteeners).
He set and reset his goals (the Fourtneers in winters!)
He DID NOT brood for long (I love the way he takes stock of what he has and what he can do best with each of them).
He did not sit there waiting to die (not till Day 4, at least). His mind kept going over what he can do best with what he has.

The question in my head since yesterday has been, what would I have done in a situation like that? Would I have sat there waiting for death, cursing my 'luck'/'destiny' or would I have said, what can I do to get out of here? Would a vision of an unborn child have moved me to do what Aron did or would it've only added to the misery and crying?

Another more relevant and perturbing question is, how much can I endure? At the end of the day, Aron's story is about endurance and courage. Today, while our lives, my life, is far more comfortable than most around me, I still have things to crib about. I still have problems (sometimes, people) I wish away - more so at work. Am I really enduring? Or am I taking the easier way out, of blaming people, situations or life, in general? What is living about, if not the superiority of the human spirit and grit - of the ability to say, 'I can deal with this'.

My immediate efforts, if not actions, will now consciously be in the direction of enduring more and being more courageous. I may not be able to cut my arm off, but I surely can tolerate many boulders in life smilingly and make the best with the cards life's dealt me.

Its that time of the year again. The time of resolutions - relooking those you made for this year and (re) writing those for the coming year. Some standard resolutions I've been making (and rewriting) year on year since my early teens, (these are still relevant btw) are:

1. Will lose weight
2. Will talk less
3. Will read more

As useful as sushi in a storm. As vague as the sense of direction of an average Hyderabadi. As pointless as a lone cloud in a vast desert.

This year, however, I'm a changed woman with changed resolutions (look out for the halo the next time you meet me!). But of course, I'm not sharing them here. Then why this drone-of-a-post, you ask? Well - it is to record, as a reminder, that moment of reckoning. To warn myself, not to lose sight of those goals. To know what not to do.

Here's to a new year, a new beginning. Yay to 2009!

PS: I'm not doped or drunk. I do realize there's a whole week before the New Year begins. Its about the sentiment, you fool. Its about the realization. Om Shanti (I'm at peace).

Was wondering what'd be an appropriate way of reviving this blog when I stumbled upon this piece on an anon blog. (Don't really know blog-laws, if there are any in the first place, but hope I don't get sued for copying someone's text from someone else's blog!)

All along I thought it was just me who felt this way and was abnormal enough to merit psychiatric counselling and all. But looks like there are a more than a few extraordinary men and women in this league. So let me cut the crap and get to the point! Here are those pearls of wisdom:

As I look back on my life, one of the most constant and powerful things I have experienced within myself is the desire to be more than I am at the moment - an unwillingness to let myself remain where I am - a desire to increase the boundaries of myself - a desire to do more, learn more, express more - a desire to grow, improve, accomplish, expand. I used to interpret this inner push as a meaning that there was some one thing out there I wanted to do or be or have. And I have spent too much of my life trying to find it. But now I know that this energy within me is seeking more than the mate or the profession or the religion, more even than pleasure or power or meaning. It is seeking out more of me; or better, it is, thank God, flushing out more of me.
- From “Notes to Myself”, By Hugh Prather.

Though I'd read this book in parts (Mistake No.1) at different times in life (Mistake No.2) I don't quite remember chancing upon these lines (Mistake No.3)- probably the cheap Indian reprint I bought (Mistake No.4) omitted just this page or I was selectively blinded or some force majeure ripped the page away, waiting to shower it back on me when I was more capable of understanding it (that's holding myself in REALLY high regard right now!) - providence I call it, ignorance - my alter-ego says. What say you?