94 minutes. 1 life. Many chances.

That's what 127 Hours was for me. What it factually is, is Aron Ralston's story portrayed with excruciatingly painful detail by James Franco, orchestrated by Danny Boyle and team. While my post isn't to talk about the technical aspects of the movie or the viewing experience, I have to say this movie has some unparalleled cinematography - further upping the ante on the otherwise superior stuff Danny Boyle's films are made of. (seen Millions anyone?)

What 127 Hours also is, is an awakening of sorts. A medium of self-realization. A barrage of questions that stare you in the face, uncomfortably.

How much can you really endure?
What would you pick - the easier way out or the more difficult, painful and uncertain one?
What do you do with the cards life's dealt to you - sit and brood or make the best of them?

What's interesting and inspiring is that Aron Ralston was always the kind of guy who'd pick the tougher way out. The road less travelled. (check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyPBTblkzBI)

He wasn't afraid to try the new (an otherwise shy and introverted person, Aron discovered his love for the outdoors in his 20s and took to it like a fish to water).
He quit a well-paying job to follow his newly discovered joy of the outdoors (Aron quit his job at Intel to give climbing and skiing more time).
He knew what he wanted and went after it (the Fourteeners).
He set and reset his goals (the Fourtneers in winters!)
He DID NOT brood for long (I love the way he takes stock of what he has and what he can do best with each of them).
He did not sit there waiting to die (not till Day 4, at least). His mind kept going over what he can do best with what he has.

The question in my head since yesterday has been, what would I have done in a situation like that? Would I have sat there waiting for death, cursing my 'luck'/'destiny' or would I have said, what can I do to get out of here? Would a vision of an unborn child have moved me to do what Aron did or would it've only added to the misery and crying?

Another more relevant and perturbing question is, how much can I endure? At the end of the day, Aron's story is about endurance and courage. Today, while our lives, my life, is far more comfortable than most around me, I still have things to crib about. I still have problems (sometimes, people) I wish away - more so at work. Am I really enduring? Or am I taking the easier way out, of blaming people, situations or life, in general? What is living about, if not the superiority of the human spirit and grit - of the ability to say, 'I can deal with this'.

My immediate efforts, if not actions, will now consciously be in the direction of enduring more and being more courageous. I may not be able to cut my arm off, but I surely can tolerate many boulders in life smilingly and make the best with the cards life's dealt me.

Okay QQ - here I go.

If I were a month, I’d be January (new beginnings, best weather - *Northern hemisphere* & best moods )

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday (upbeat, in anticipation)

If I were a time of day, I’d be 3 am (for the absolute silence - try reading at this time!) or 6 am (chirping birds - i love it)

If I were a season, I’d be spring (next best - winter, never ever, summer!)

If I were a planet, I’d be Earth (can't fathom what it would be like to be anything else).

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a dolphin.

If I were a direction, I’d be East (sunrise).

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a comfy couch.

If I were a liquid, I’d be Water.

If I were a tree, I’d be a gogonut tree (South Indian no?). Okay jokes apart, banyan (grow outside, grow inside)

If I were a tool, I’d be a ...(wtf, i really don't want to be a tool!)

If I were an element, I’d be Oxygen

If I were a gemstone, I’d be a diamond.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a flute.

If I were a color, i’d be white.

If I were an emotion, I’d be Happiness.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a ripe guava :)

If I were a sound, I’d be the sound of windchimes. (same here QQ! of course, another close for me would be the voice of a cuckoo/nightingale)

If I were a car, I’d be a Reva.

If I were food, I’d be chaat!

If I were a taste, I’d be sweet

If I were a scent, I’d be J&J's baby powder (whatever scent it is)

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be stilettos

If I were a bird, I’d be a humming bird

Oh blessed reader (that's one of the 3 of you who read this blog), ignore the indulgence. Its only so often that someone asks me about myself. The other times, I tell them anyway!

I'm still young!

No. I've not discovered a magic anti-ageing cream.
No. I've not lost any weight.
No. I've not joined college, again.
I've just (re) discovered the joy of a (second) first paycheck.
The joy that comes with a dilemma - of having already planned how to spend (almost all of) it . The way it is with your real first one - what to buy for yourself to prove that you can actually pay for it, what to buy for your family - to prove to them that you can actually pay for it, and what to buy for your special someone - to show them how much you care to buy something and you actually pay for it.
8 months of no magic-wandish-end-of-the-month credits into your account, and you'd be reacting just like me!
Yep - I'm employed once again. Back to the grind after a complete whirlwind of a break. Yay!
PS: Never thought I'd be excited about getting back to work, but such is life I guess. Always full of surprises.

My life's going around in circles.
Circles I practice for drawing class.
Circles (the size of a One rupee coin, mind you!) I'm forced to practise, splayed on the floor, foot in the air, during aerobics.
My life, indeed, is going (a)round in circles.

Yay! I'm back. Missed all the ranting I got to do on this space. I guess the lack of anything to rant about must've kept me away :)
I'm in that extremely-rare-at-this-age, happy-go-lucky, sabbatical phase.
YES. I quit my job two and a half months ago and have been doing, well acutally, dreaming about doing, all the things that I've always wanted to do, but never got time to. But truth be told, time does fly. Only yesterday I was wondering where all these days went. So what did I manage to accomplish in the last 9 weeks of unemployment? Let's see:

1. The long-awaited Vipassana course (2 weeks) - Yes. I did keep mum for 10 days. No. I didn't break the rules. More on that in a separate post. This one's only recap.
2. The much-needed sibling time - (1 week) - Spent a week in Mallaya land. Sibling and sibling-spouse bonding initiated, Stage 001 complete. Of course, would've loved a lot more time there but a waiting spouse needed attention.
3. Family-bonding time (3 days-1 week) - Spent a week back in Hyd with mes parents and mon frere and spouse. The first time our now-Size 6 family met. Bliss time.
4. Friends, fiends and soulmates (1 week) - Mumbai-Matheran-Mumbai. Met a boss-bugged, overworked dear friend who reminded me to thank the Almighty for not being in that situation and to pray that she gets out of hers fast enough. Met QQ who reminded me how good life can be with your best girlfriend around, except of course, when she devilishly and deviously gives you wrong advice on footwear (More in another post - I promise. Recap, remember?) Met Arch whose shoulder I could cry on/lean on for wardrobe woes/sartorial sermons. Met U&P who reminded me how love is not a slave of time; how a decade of togetherness could seem like just a speck on the spectrum of time you have ahead of you, with each other. Met R&S who reminded me of the initial hiccups of a working couple. It made me wonder, what makes one WANT to live in Mumbai? The long distance travel, the traffic, the rentals, everything seems to intolerable, and yet, there are millions who live there and many others who aspire to.
5. WHERE DID THE OTHER 4 GO? Now let me see. I did watch a LOT of silly movies, cooked like never before (good or bad, do not ask), slept a bit, grappled with brief illness, sorted a million papers I'd been hoarding, read - much lesser than I'd have loved to, worked out - lesser than I'd read, meditated - lesser than I'd worked out. But guess what, I'm loving it!

Little did I know when I kissed my job goodbye, that there would be souls who'd be envious of me in that state. Over the last few (atleast I'd like to think of them that way!) weeks I've come across a good number of people (women) who'd love to be in my shoes. MY unemployed, cash-crunched, waiting-to-be-replaced, shoes. (Okay - that was dramatic. I'm not in such bad financial shape either. But of course, if you wish to donate to the Shisul Sab-Rehab Fund you're always welcome!)

Its nice to hear ex-colleagues (Rocks&Roses) throw choicest expletives at you when you tell them you're out shopping/eating fresh pasta at a fine-dining restaurant for LUNCH, while they're slogging away at their desks. Ummm...now that's what I call a break.

All the niceties and frivolities aside, I'm beginning to feel scared. Scared I might get used to this life and not want to get onto a full-time job anymore. Onto doing something to earn enough to go on vacations a few times a year, to spend weekends watching movies and eating out..is that what life's all about? Do you choose what you'd like to do, which may not feed you, but will keep you happy enough? Or do you pick what is the way of the world? Duty/responsibility over pleasure? Isn't there are larger purpose of our existence? Beyond our own selfish selves? What is mine? Do I follow my heart or my head? What would you do?

Sometimes I wonder why people who are so good at penning their emotions would want to remain anon.
Maybe, that's precisely why.
Nonetheless, here's another anon marvel. Savor it.

In the placid calm of the numbed emotions,

amidst sadness, confusion and tear,

in the agony of a void search

I lurched directionless,

waiting for the destined moment

when the droplets of love

would thaw my frozen soul

and the clarity beneath it would unfold.

Now as the necessity of your existence unveils,

the impervious facade gives way,

and overwhelmed tears seek exit,

a soothing warmth trickles down my soul,

an acceptance seeps through my core,

an elusive solace grips me,

the eternal dilemma fades.

Questions lose urgency,

answers lose relevance.

Only belief upholds.

I bow down and let go

of my fears, doubts and apprehensions.

When my senses unite

in the absolute silence of my being,

I hear you.

As the tranquility of togetherness

peeks into my inner sanctum,

nestled in your warm thoughts,

I surrender myself to you.

A quick detour from 'to-be-continued' post.
Just landed in Delhi. Fog with near-zero visibility. A slight chill in the air. But good enough to make you want to go to Humayun's Tomb for a walk and not reach out for your quilt. Nice enough to make you feel like shirking work and hopping on to a 'Delhi darshan' bus and hop-stop at all those places you've wanted to see but never got around to.
Before I change my mind (which is as far away in time as the next traffic jam on the roads of Delhi) , I love this city. With a lot of conditions, of course (as is the case with everything with me, no?) Delhi in winter. Delhi sans its pseudo-inhabitants. Delhi of Siri Fort and Kamani auditorium. Delhi of Indian Habitat and Pandara Market. Delhi of un-crowded Chandni Chowk and Parantha-wali gali.(Oxymoron, says you. Perspective, says me). Delhi of Lajpat Nagar and Sarojini Nagar. And my most favorite, Delhi of H-Block Market, Sarita Vihar. A Barista. A game of Scrabble. A piping hot, Hot Chocolate and a bunch of friends. I love Delhi.
PS: Let me share with you the just-discovered joy of having a data-card (antique for IT superkids; latest discovery for ancient moi). I am writing this en route to destination of Annual Ritual of Slaughter (read: Annual Goals & Plan meeting with boss), while in the cab. I'm loving it. Only time will tell how much I'll put it to use, though. Ta da.